Choosing Temperance
by BeeHiveDo
Summary: Bones has a revelation which leads to a theory she will test.
1. Chapter 1

Confusion had clouded Brennan's mind for a while now. It was the constant. She would always rely on deductive reasoning and logic for matters of science but at a specific point, she had lost her gift of clarity of her personal life. She could count on being unsure of herself ever since the Eames case. Temperance had always held FACT to be the truth. The Eames case was the point in history that she could say everything changed. The results of those changes were somewhat unsettling in her customary tidy universe.

But today, Temperance Brennan was in her element. For a Saturday, not at work… she was pleased with the day's offering. She had worked on her latest book and was certain that her publisher would be pleased with her draft. She had left the Jeffersonian limbo with all current work documented. She had enjoyed a post case drink with her co-workers at the Founding Fathers and wished them all a well deserved good weekend off. It was 10:13 am and she was very pleased with the progress of the day.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door… familiar in that her partner used that knock back when he frequented her time off with unexpected visits. Greeting him at the door, she was pensive. She was CERTAIN there was a very good reason for his visit.

She looked past the agent for his son. She knew it was his weekend with Parker. "Parker couldn't be with me this weekend. Rebecca had some last minute chance to take him to the shore so I thought I'd come see you! Whaddya say Bones… are you going to let me in?"

As Brennan stepped aside to make room for him to enter… a flash of realization struck her. FACT was the only thing she could count on! FACT was indeed what would lead her back to clarity AND the FACTS were flying at her with lightening speed.

Fact 1: Booth had said that he was 'the one' who would love her for 30, 40 and 50 years.

Fact 2: Booth had decided in 15 seconds that he would have to 'move on'.

Fact 3: Hannah wasn't a consolation prize. He 'loved' her.

Fact 4: Booth had estranged himself from Brennan before Hannah rejected him.

Fact 5: Hannah HAD rejected Booth. He wanted to give HER 30, 40 or 50 years but she rejected him.

There was NO ONE better with facts than Temperance Brennan. Her world had quickly turned upside down while investigating Lauren Eames. She had, with faulty logic thought that it would be righted in 3 days. Clearly she was wrong. Months after the event that distorted her metaphorical vision, Temperance looked at her 'associate' with 20/20 clarity. Seely Booth was a hypocrite.

Realizing that Brennan had yet to respond to him, Booth finally paused and looked at her. He was met by sparkling blue orbs that provided no clue to her curious behavior.

"What's up, Bones?" Booth asked, moving closer. His gaze never leaving hers…he suggested they sit. She allowed herself to be lead to the sofa and be placed gingerly like a doll on its shelf.

She turned and spoke for the first time since her revelation. Being a scientist, first and foremost, Temperance needed to test her conclusion.

"Why did you suggest that I might have intercourse with your 'finder' in order to get information from him?" She waited as he stared in disbelief. "Is it because you value me as nothing more than a piece of property to be used in return for favors? Did the gratuitous sex under the fig tree lead you to believe that ALL women express gratitude in that fashion?" She recognized the flash of blind anger that crossed his face.

"Don't you DARE" Booth growled but was cut off before he could finish his thought.

"You asked me if I ever wanted to be a human being who didn't paralyze others." She was relentless in her pursuit for the proof of her conclusion. "I can only speculate that you believe me to be responsible for the symptom of paralysis suffered by Dr. Filmore. " It was obvious that Bones wasn't in the mode of processing answers so Booth decided to sit back and listen to Brennan until she was sated but his mind was busy making mental notes of her offering. He knew from experience she would want him to help her process them.

"The 'rules'," she air quoted, "said you couldn't be involved with someone you work with yet you were involved with Cam. Your 'gut' tells you that you love me and want 30 or 50 years with me but you have to move on when I'm not ready to risk it all in 15 seconds. Your 'morals' dictated that you don't have biological releases without being in a relationship but you had sex with Hannah under a fig tree before you even knew her. Your 'code' of being a gentleman prevents you from discussing your private life with others but the oral sex you received under the fig tree was shared while you sat there smugly superior to those who were forced to hear it. Hannah rejects you and you renew your dedication to our partnership. Rebeca denies you visitation with Parker and you find time to come here. I find your lack of consistency… disturbing."

Booth swallowed the bile that had crept into his throat. For the first time in a very long time, he considered what Brennan had shared. "Look Bones," he started "we need to talk about this but I don't think now… I'm not sure that…" Booth was at a loss. He was unsure of how to continue.

Brennan breathed deeply and closed her eyes. "You gave me 15 seconds to _GAMBLE_ on the most important relationship of my life. I didn't have the opportunity to think or feel or reason. You get the same consideration you extended me, Booth. Talk now or forfeit the opportunity."

Her calm demeanor was obviously a good cover for the range of emotions she had bottled. Not sure of where to start, Booth prayed that he would find the words. "Look Bones, I don't know where you want to start. Do you want to talk about Hannah?"

She replied, "No. Hannah is nothing more than supporting evidence in my theory. I have a theory on YOU, Agent Booth. I have the conclusion to that theory. I am merely testing the validity of that conclusion."

"Would you share your theory with me?" Not even daring to demand, Booth asked.

"Give a little to get a little, right Booth? Of course I will share with you... after you've explained your actions to me." She was steadfast.

"Do you remember everything I say, Bones?"

"I find it most helpful to remember details." she replied with a slight shrug.

Inhaling deeply, Booth prepared his argument for his judge and jury.


	2. Chapter 2

"I made mistakes, Bones." Brennan closed her eyes to focus on his words. After a few seconds of silence, she opened them only to see that he had no intention of continuing. He sat with his arms folded in front of him.  
>"Is there any more evidence you would like me to consider, Booth?"<br>"You'll have to be specific, Bones and I'll be glad to answer as best I can." He replied.  
>"Fair enough. What do you consider to be a mistake? In our 5 year partnership, what can you attribute to mistake?"<br>"You'll have to be MORE specific than that! I can't possibly remember every time I used poor judgment in five years!" Booth was showing NO sign of exasperation. Brennan believed he wanted specific information to be more able to provide her the answers she demanded. She complied. "Why was it fine for you to have a relationship with Cam, but not with me?"  
>"If I hadn't been in a relationship with Cam, she wouldn't have been hurt and almost died. I made that decision AFTER my relationship with Cam was over."<br>"Accepted. Why could you date Cam but I couldn't date Andrew?" Brennan was picking up momentum and Booth could sense that he had no choice but to keep up with her.  
>"THAT was a mistake. I should have told you how I felt about you before you ever went out with Hacker." She nodded. "I agree. Why were you angry about the egg story I shared with Andrew?" The rhythm was picking up.<br>"I've already told you, Bones. What goes on between us, is ours. PERIOD." He thought he had made himself clear on this previously. "Then why did you share with Hannah about OUR conversation after the Eames case?" She _almost_ spat at him.  
>"She was my girlfriend! I had to share that!" He retorted.<br>"Andrew_ COULD_ have been _MY_ boyfriend, if you hadn't deemed it inappropriate." It was a soft response. Not quiet, but without the venom of her earlier question. It just sounded sad.

Trying to recover from the sharp pain in his gut, Booth leaned forward and covered his face with his hands. "Bones, it isn't the same." It was weak. Even Booth didn't believe it. Even HE could see how sickening his double standard had been. Even HE was stunned when he realized how long he had perpetuated that double standard. He wondered when he had become so pathetic. He wondered how he could have enjoyed flaunting Hannah in front of Bones. How could he have endured one moment of her hurting? When did he stop being the guy who_ knew _and become the guy who wounded?

"A mistake." He wanted to keep moving. He couldn't stop and think about this now. Perhaps she would accept his lack of an explanation.

"Why did you tell me you loved me in an atta-girl kind of way?" She was getting very deep at a very fast pace. "Because I love you. I will not call that a mistake. The mistake was being a coward and saying that I love you in an atta-girl kinda way." She continued, "Why did you ask me for 50 years?" He sighed... "It was not a mistake to ask you to love me. It was a mistake to let Sweets challenge me to do it. I didn't think before I spoke. I didn't think about HOW I would ask you. I was an idiot."

"Agreed. Why did you bring Hannah back to DC?" she quieried. "I didn't. She came here on her own. I swear, Bones." to which she replied "I can accept that." "When we investigated the sister wives, was I the one you referred to as loving the best?" Her face was childlike in it's vulnerability.

He stopped. His heart stopped. His breathing stopped. "Yes." He knew that she was on the verge of revealing his most cowardly act.

"And you asked Hannah to marry you anyway?" For the first time since this hell had started, Booth couldn't respond. "I need no further proof."

She mustered her thoughts and breathed deeply before she presented her theory to him. "You said you knew. You left for Afghanistan and returned with Hannah. You obviously DIDN'T know. You changed our partnership. You wouldn't have drinks with me without Hannah and unless it was cold or discourteous, you didn't regard me at all. You CHOSE Hannah over your partner. You lied to our friends. YOU prize honesty above all else. You told me Hannah wasn't a consolation prize... you loved her. You asked her to marry you. But you claim that you 'love' me best. You treated me with very little respect and you betrayed my confidence. When Hannah left you, you subjected me to your anger at Rebeca and Hannah. I was the only person held responsible for your anger and I was the person who never was afforded a proper chance! I find myself agreeing with Sweets. I am involved in a surrogate realtionship in which there is NO honesty and NO respect." She wasn't crying but her face showed the depths of the pain that she had suffered because of his actions. He looked in to her eyes, searching for any evidence that he _could_ regain her trust, her respect and any semblance of their relationship. She had been lost. And it showed. She had needed him and he hadn't been there. She had been hurting but he had been the cause.

Booth jumped up quickly and ran into the bathroom to empty the contents of his stomach. It would have been a relief to know that he had a stomach bug but he knew better. He knew that his stomach couldn't bear the shame the rest of his body was suffering. He wished that his mind could vomit it's content as easily as his gut had.

Splashing his face and rinsing his mouth, Booth went out to face the fallout. He found she had left the living room and walked towards the kitchen to find her. She continued as if nothing had happened but handed him a glass of ginger ale, which he accepted wordlessly. They settled in the kitchen, seated on opposite sides of the bar. Booth smirked at the irony. After everything they had experienced together over almost 6 years, they were right back where they started... on opposite sides.

"I was willing to take whatever you had to offer in the name of friendship. You've been angry and I've taken the brunt of it. You offered ridicule, contempt even and I accepted it. You devalued me to the extent that I could be replaced by a 6 month oral sex encounter with your stereotypical blond yet I continued to hope that your anger would dissipate. You joke about me being the equivalent of an embedded reporter who offers sex in lieu of Thank you notes, imply that I am less than human in my professional relationships and show up at my home when you have nothing better to do. Can you guess what I learned through all of this, Booth?"

He simply replied "I am a hypocrite."


	3. Chapter 3

Booth was exhausted. If either of them had been asked about the events that led them to preparing lunch together, neither would have been able to fully recount anything past Booth's admission of hypocrisy. Yet here they were… making lunch.

Brennan spoke first. "I shouldn't have turned you down outside the Hoover."

He replied "I've already admitted that I was wrong to spring that on you like that."

"Why did you make friends with Hannah?" She didn't stop him when he asked his first question. "I found Hannah to be an intelligent and interesting woman. I befriended her, however because she was important to you." Touched, Booth continued, "Why didn't you tell me that you didn't want Hannah around for drinks? Why didn't you say anything about what bothered you? Why didn't you tell me you loved me when we returned?" His eyes never left his half assembled sandwich but he _REALLY_ wanted an answer. She reached deep down for the best answer she could muster "Because you said you met someone. I've only wanted you to be happy. You_ looked_ happy. You _told_ me you were happy."

Brennan ate her lunch as if this were the most normal conversation she had ever had. "I've always looked to you to guide me in situations like this. I've watched you interact with others. I studied you while you interrogate. I learned so much from being your partner… your friend. But the last year has also been very insightful. I tried so hard to 'put my head in neutral and my heart in drive'," with a slight smile, "but I forgot exactly how intelligent I really am! I went from one extreme to the other and I allowed myself to be transported right back to high school where I didn't fit in, wasn't wanted. I started as the empirical scientist and ended up as an adolescent schoolgirl. I _LET_ you treat me that way, Booth. I am as responsible as you, if not more so. I can liken it to your Catholic Penance. I felt that I had hurt you and deserved to be punished."

"Bones," he said before she cut him off. "No Booth. It's true. I allowed the situation to progress in order to make myself feel better about hurting you."

Booth breathed deeply, giving her a chance to cut him off again, if that was her intention. She didn't and he said "I can't ever express how badly I feel about how I treated you." She furrowed her brow and tilted her head endearingly to the side. "Booth, that's what I haven't made clear to you. There is no need to feel remorse. I was behaving irrationally because I used faulty logic to calculate my behavior."

She was, of course right. He had no clue as what she wanted him to understand. "You're going to have to help me out here, Bones. I don't get it."

With pursed lips she tried again. "Booth, I behaved the way I thought you would have behaved. I tried to be the best friend I could be. I acted like I thought you would act. I tried to say the right things at the right time. I _THOUGHT_ that _YOU_ knew what you were talking about when you spoke about love. I didn't know that you were going with your metaphorical gut!" She thought she could see him following her logic and continued. "You seem so sure of yourself when you talk about love and marriage, making love and crappy sex. I accepted your credentials without ever verifying that you were indeed an expert!" Understanding was beginning to dawn on his face. "I assumed that there is something wrong with me because people said I had no social skills, I was blunt or rude. I deferred to _your_ judgment in matters dealing with people. I forgot that there is nothing wrong with me. I am, as Angela would say, what I am. Booth, you aren't responsible for the consequences of my actions! You made mistakes. I made mistakes. We ended up hurting each other so needlessly so many times!"

He searched her eyes for any sign of anger… or hatred… or resignation. There was none. The absurdity of the situation struck him with something dangerously close to hysteria…" We are the two most fucked up people in the universe." His voice was crackling with laughter.

Anyone listening at the door would have thought that someone had told the funniest joke as the partners laughter spilled into the hallway. 

* * *

><p>"I hate how it is always a blond for you." He scoffed "It isn't always a blond, Bones. You have always been the standard."<p>

"I'm not sure I can forget that you asked her to marry you." She wasn't worried about being honest. For the first time in a very long time, she wasn't afraid of anything. She saw his eyes raise to meet hers. "I will take responsibility for my actions but I must insist you do the same. You wanted to marry Hannah. The fact remains that you chose Hannah over me. I'm having my first objective view of the evidence. I'm not focused on trying to change or do the 'right' things... I'm processing the evidence."

"Any idea how long you think that may take?" It was quiet and simple. He wanted to know.

"You're always the first to know when I have achieved results." At 1:53 pm that day, Dr. Brennan discovered Temperance.


	4. Chapter 4

Life, as Brennan had learned, never actually returned to normal. It assimilated a new version of normal, it got worse or it got better… never returned to its original state. She was good with the current state of normal with Booth somehow. She would at some later date study the whole Catholic practice of confession because right now, she was seeing its virtue.

Booth had felt deep guilt at his actions. She had felt deep regret at hers. Perhaps he was correct and they were both so screwed up, metaphorically speaking that they should indeed come with warning labels. They had been angry that morning. They had laughed. They had both felt like crying at some point that day but Brennan felt refreshed and ready for just about anything facing her right now.

Booth looked less energetic than Brennan but still not bad, all things considered. His curiosity got the better of him… He just had to keep pressing on. "Bones, do you _really_ not understand how I ended up with Hannah or is it just one of those 'I don't know what that means' things?" She thought for a few moments about the last few months and how she had felt regarding his relationship with Hannah. She recalled how she felt when he told her he found someone. Her minds eye led her to the dancing on the gymnasium floor, before they left for different parts of the world. She saw the deep sea diver and Tessa, both in various stages of dress. It was clear. Hannah didn't matter. She held no significance in their relationship. If the truth be known, the only true loss Brennan had suffered at the hand of Hannah were her sunglasses. She made a mental note to write Hannah to get those back.

"I sincerely don't know why you were with Hannah but I am certain that it is irrelevant. You were convinced that you would find someone that night outside the Hoover… mere seconds after you asked me for a commitment. It is highly probable with your excellent physical stature and remarkable bone structure that you would have found a woman when you were so adamant about finding one! I would be very concerned if every woman you came across had found you less than desirable." She gave no indication that she was being facetious but Booth couldn't help but laugh.

"My own Father thinks your homosexual, you know." She couldn't hide the twinkle in her eye as Booth burst out in defense of his sexuality. "Bones, I am NOT gay. Not that there is anything wrong with…. You know what… forget it!" His frustration was apparent but she wasn't going to let her little bit of fun get them off track. He blushed slightly when he saw her smile.

"I'm merely stating a fact, Booth. You left the Hoover with the sole purpose of finding a woman. It was inevitable that you would find one." She wasn't accusing him nor did he feel that he was being attacked so he decided to just lay it out there for her. "I wanted someone to love me." Brennan gasped. She was stricken with his honesty. "I never denied loving you", she said softly.

"You never admitted it, either Bones. You waited until I found someone. I would have looked like an _idiot_ if I had dropped her and went running after you. I shoved her in everyone's face!" A pregnant pause held the space, but he continued, "I guess this is where you blame me for never telling you I loved you."

"There is no blame, Booth. No blame for you and none for me. We won't get anywhere with it, nor is it merited. Your original assessment stands. We are fucked up." She reached out and took his hand into hers.

"I don't need to be 'cured' and you are not required to cram yourself into the stereotypical mold of the perfect life. We found each other as imperfect persons. We can surely find a way to co-exist with those imperfections." Her brows were furrowed and her head slightly tilted. Historically, this is when Booth most frequently fantasized about kissing her, but his mind couldn't have been further away. Her words had reached him. That afternoon, at 3:30 pm, Seely Booth found love.

* * *

><p>Author's note: Your reviews have been wonderful. Thank each of you. The readers stat's have been very humbling. We are very close to the end of my season 6 reset. I hope you enjoy the rest of the ride!<p>

I think this is probably an excellent place to say that I don't own Bones or any of its characters but it certainly is fun redirecting the characters into a place where I can enjoy them again!


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